Sometimes I miss being a security guard. I didn't do much. I patrolled a 19 story building in downtown Denver, but mostly I did a lot of reading. There's no time for that at my current job. It would take pages to explain what I do, and if I said my job position, you would make assumptions about how easy it is thanks to media misreprenstation.
My company constantly tries to retitle my job to make it seem more... something. I don't know what the hell they're doing, actually. Every title does nothing to explain my job. In fact, it makes me think of things totally different than the title suggests.
The last three:
AGENT. That makes me feel like a spy. I feel like I should be combing over secret documents in search of damning evidence which will lead to the coup of a dictator. Or at least give away top secret technological advances which will be the turning point in the Great Vegetable War of 2015 (if we survive Armageddon 2012, that is).
REPRESENTATIVE. Seriously? Me? I can barely represent myself, much less be someone a major corporation wants speaking on their behalf. I'm not sure they thought this one through. I'm not saying they're stupid
ADVOCATE. This one is the most strange to me. I feel like I'm supposed to have a hand-made sign and be singing a catchy protest jingle in front of the White House. Or maybe even be a lobbyist in D.C. Or out saving puppies. Or seals. Or sea kittens. (seriously, GOOGLE the last one)
What about you guys? What do you do for a living? Are you like me and dream of making enough money to quit said 'day job' and maybe go back to full-time easy, low paying job with authorly royalties to supplement the difference?
You know what we need? A writing commune. A big farmhouse in the middle of nowhere (that has internet, of course) and we can all have low paying jobs that support ONE mortgage/utilities/food bills. Who's with me? We'd play Scrabble, of course, because we're all wordsmiths, and have our own rooms where no one cares if we showered this week because they can't smell us through closed doors... um... too much? Oh, look! A chicken!
Anyway, I think it'd be grand.