Sunday, February 19, 2012

Regrets

I try not to have them. I know that each mistake I've made has led me to where I am, so I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the whatifs and ifonlys (ifonlies?) of what might have been. Going to a different school or taking a different job or moving to a different town at any point would have changed the journey that I've been on to find myself. Maybe some roads could have been easier, but would I still be the person I am today if I hadn't totally messed up a bajillion times?

But there are things I regret that remind me that I'm still growing as a person. My biggest regret is the way I lose contact with people. We all do it, right? That friend in high school who goes to another college. Time passes, phone numbers get lost, addresses get misplaces, people move... and after a while you decide, 'hey, if we've not talked in a few months, what's a couple more?' Eventually, it's been so long, you start to think, 'hey, maybe we're not actually friends anymore.' It's not because you liked them any less or grew angry. It's because you just didn't take the time, and part of you resented the fact that they didn't take the time, either.

I regret that I did this with one of my friends. I've been thinking a lot about them lately, and now that we've not spoken in six years, I can't find the courage to give them a call. Kind of sad, isn't it? Do you have a friend like that? A person who pops into your head when you glance at the phone and make excuses to yourself, calling them 'reasons' not to call?

13 comments:

Becca said...

Yes, I have friends like that. We need to just reach out to them, I think :)

brandonrluffman said...

Call them. You never know, maybe they're looking at the phone, thinking about calling you, but not able to. Sometimes, we have to take the initiative.

Anne Gallagher said...

Call them. My best friend from grade school and I hadn't talked in almost 10 years. I found her last Christmas card with an old email address and just for fun sent a note. Lo and behold it was still in use and we've been corresponding for the last 6 months. Do it! You won't regret it. You'll only regret that you waited so long.

vic caswell (aspiring-x) said...

i'm terrible at this as well.
shoot! my whole family is!
i think my dad and i didn't speak for... nine years? because we were just too distracted.
oops!

Christi Goddard said...

Becca - I think we all have those friends that are still friends, but we just lose track of.

Brandon - I probably will... eventually ;-)

Anne - Well, I've already got that regret ;-) I am just trying to figure out the right thing to say, I guess.

Aspiring - I'm just the worst. I care about people, I just have a really hard time keeping up with everybody.

Roland D. Yeomans said...

If you can find your friend's email address, you could perhaps send a tentative hello, testing the waters. Your friend may be hungry for your friendship to be renewed, Roland

Lisa Gail Green said...

I have such a sad story about that, I can't even write it down here. Call. Even if you only connect once for the next six years, you'll feel better.

Christi Goddard said...

Roland and Lisa - I know you're right, and I worry about putting it off. But I was also trying to give others the inspiration to do what I'm about to do as well. :-)

Indigo said...

If you're thinking of them, you have all the reason you need to call. Even if the only thing you can't think to say is, "I was thinking of you today."

Never know losing touch with you may be one of their regrets to.

Life is short, we all make a bajillion mistakes and find our own way. Sometimes we're even given a chance to change the course of some of those choices. Either way the only one who knows what the outcome is...is you sweet friend. (Hugs)Indigo

Talli Roland said...

I'm rubbish with keeping in touch. I've moved around so much, it is hard -- and the fact that I live so faraway from many of my friends doesn't help. See? I'm making excuses already.

Lenny Lee* said...

hi miss christy! when someone keeps coming into my mind i call them. i did a email yesterday to a blogger that been gone for a long time and she wrote me back and wow she was soooo happy someone cares about her. you might be just what your old friend needs and maybe even she might be just what you need. do like nike says and just do it. :)
...hugs from lenny

Christi Goddard said...

Indigo - I know, you're right. (hugs back)

Talli - Yeah, that's part of my problem. I've moved over 3 dozen times in my life, so I'm just used to people coming in and out of my life.

And dear, sweet Lenny, my man. You are just the cutest thing, and so clever as well. You always have the best advice.

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