The Passion
It was the passion of the thing that moved me.
Those hushed voices, a murmur of disbelief in my ears. All else shrank from my reality like heavy clouds sucked into a silent vacuum, leaving only the blood which danced down his fingers and my entranced gaze.
Pressure built in a painful swell until I released it in a primal scream that threatened to pull my lungs out into the heavens with it. Fear was not the blanket into which I crawled. My cowardly feet twitched to move, but I remained. Grief blipped like a sonar screen in my mind, scanning the void for emotion. It found none; only irreconcilable awe.
I was enamored by the passion.
The crumpled body before me was an unfortunate side effect of a man’s emotions stripped bare. Rage and love, a two headed beast, swallowed the man whole in an instant, and the flash of steel carried away my mother.
I used to call the man my father.
8 comments:
Evocative flash fiction.
It could prove a great start to a novel -- perhaps with Greek Mythological undertones -- the Olympians were hard on their fathers -- look at what Zeus did to his. Roland
Wow. Very moving. I really enjoyed this, Christi.
I agree with Roland--start of a new novel.
Ooooh soo creepy. I love it. My last couple of books came from seeds planted in short stories or flash fiction. So yeah, I think you could do something here.
That was great, Christi. The last line really got me. I can see this developing into a novel; you've certainly piqued my curiosity.
Yep. You should do something much deeper and much bigger with this. I like Roland's idea....great short!
I've been away for a couple days and just now saw your blog's new look. I like it!!!
very powerful, and i agree adding to this bit would take away from it. but i mean that as a scene. now more scenes to expound upon and convert this into a novel.. well that would be quite awesome!
i love the "rage and love, a two headed beast"
Wow, that was so powerful. I loved "the blood which danced down his fingers", great stuff.
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